A new biography published on June 29, 2025, reveals that Prince Harry strained his relationship with Queen Elizabeth II in February 2018, months before his wedding to Meghan Markle. According to author Sally Bedell Smith, Harry was brusque during a meeting about wedding preparations in London, leaving the queen dismayed. Elizabeth II, who passed away in 2022, felt sidelined in decisions and was troubled by Meghan’s secrecy over her wedding dress. The tension, reported by the queen’s cousin Lady Elizabeth Anson, also involved disputes with Prince William and Kate Middleton. Despite a reconciliation in April 2018, the episode marked a turning point in Harry’s ties with the royal family.
The biography details Harry’s attempt to bypass royal traditions, such as selecting the archbishop for the ceremony without consulting the queen.
The incident foreshadowed the challenges leading to the “Megxit,” when Harry and Meghan stepped back from royal duties in 2020.
- Key points of the dispute:
- Harry’s 10-minute heated exchange with Elizabeth II.
- Queen felt excluded from wedding planning decisions.
- Meghan withheld details about her wedding dress.
- Tensions with William and Kate escalated the conflict.
Wedding preparations spark conflict
Sally Bedell Smith, a seasoned royal biographer, reported in her Substack newsletter that Harry’s demeanor during a February 2018 meeting upset Queen Elizabeth II, then 91. The queen was taken aback by her grandson’s approach, which disregarded royal protocols during discussions about his wedding plans.
Harry’s decision to choose the Archbishop of Canterbury for the ceremony at St. George’s Chapel without consulting the Dean of Windsor was a significant point of contention. Elizabeth II, a staunch defender of tradition, viewed this as a breach of protocol, especially since she was not informed beforehand.
Lady Elizabeth Anson, the queen’s cousin who died in 2020, shared details of the meeting with Smith in 2019. Anson noted that the queen was “deeply concerned” about Harry’s behavior, describing him as overly influenced by his passion for Meghan.
The episode was one of several that highlighted Harry’s divergence from royal norms, setting the stage for later tensions within the monarchy.
Meghan’s role in the friction
Elizabeth II was also unsettled by Meghan’s reluctance to share details about her wedding dress for the May 19, 2018, ceremony. Traditionally, the queen was briefed on key elements of royal weddings, but Meghan’s secrecy was perceived as a break from protocol, raising concerns.
According to Smith, Lady Anson expressed skepticism about Meghan’s intentions, suggesting her actions were calculated. In 2019, the queen was still assessing her feelings toward the Duchess of Sussex, indicating a cautious relationship from the outset.
The wedding, watched by 1.9 billion people globally, cost an estimated £32 million, with £2.4 million covered by British taxpayers. Meghan’s lack of transparency contrasted with the public’s expectation of openness for such a high-profile event.
Clashes with William and Kate
The biography highlights tensions between Harry, Meghan, and Prince William and Kate Middleton during the wedding preparations. Smith notes that Meghan and Kate clashed over event details, exacerbating family dynamics.
A notable dispute involved the bridesmaids’ dresses, particularly one for Princess Charlotte, which needed last-minute adjustments. In his 2023 memoir “Spare,” Harry recounted that Kate’s insistence on alterations caused friction with Meghan, further straining relations.
William, second in line to the throne, disapproved of Harry’s disregard for royal conventions. The rift between the brothers grew after 2018, contributing to their eventual estrangement.
Brief reconciliation before the wedding
Harry and Elizabeth II reconciled in April 2018, weeks before the wedding, according to the biography. Though details of the meeting are scarce, sources close to the royals suggest the queen, known for her family diplomacy, sought to ease tensions.
The reconciliation did not fully resolve underlying issues. Harry faced ongoing media scrutiny and internal family conflicts, which culminated in his and Meghan’s decision to step back from royal duties in January 2020 and relocate to the United States.
Background of royal tensions
Harry’s relationship with the royal family showed strain before 2018. In 2016, he issued a public statement condemning racist and harassing media coverage of Meghan, marking an early challenge to royal protocol.
In 2019, Elizabeth II denied Harry and Meghan’s request to live at Windsor Castle, offering Frogmore Cottage instead. The cottage’s £2.4 million renovation, funded by public money, sparked controversy in the UK.
The 2021 Oprah Winfrey interview, watched by 17.1 million viewers in the US, revealed further tensions, including claims of royal concerns about the skin color of Harry and Meghan’s son, Archie. The queen pledged to address the allegations privately.
- Notable events in Harry’s royal ties:
- 2016 statement against media harassment of Meghan.
- 2019 Frogmore Cottage controversy.
- 2021 Oprah interview with racism allegations.
- 2022 meeting with Elizabeth II at Invictus Games.
Queen’s response to controversies
Elizabeth II, who reigned for 70 years until her death on September 8, 2022, maintained a reserved stance on family disputes. After the Oprah interview, Buckingham Palace issued a statement on March 9, 2021, noting that issues, particularly those involving race, would be handled privately.
The queen kept in touch with Harry through video calls to see her great-grandchildren, Archie and Lilibet, named after her. A 2022 meeting during the Invictus Games in the Netherlands was described by Harry as warm, with Elizabeth II engaging playfully with her great-grandchildren.
In “Spare,” Harry recounted his children’s interactions with the queen in 2022, noting her surprise at their energy and their gestures of respect, like bows and hugs.
The tiara dispute
Another point of contention was Elizabeth II’s refusal to let Meghan wear her preferred tiara for the wedding due to its “sensitive origins.” According to royal expert Robert Lacey, Harry was furious, but the queen offered Queen Mary’s 1911 tiara instead.
The incident, detailed in “Battle of Brothers,” underscored Harry’s frustration with royal traditions. The tiara, a symbol of continuity, highlighted Elizabeth II’s commitment to protocol over personal preferences.
Media and public reaction
British media closely followed the tensions, with the “Megxit” dominating headlines. The 2022 Netflix series “Harry & Meghan” fueled further controversy, with William and Kate reportedly upset over bullying allegations.
A 2021 YouGov poll showed 45% of Britons supported the queen, while 32% backed Harry and Meghan. The couple’s popularity dipped after the Oprah interview, but Harry’s tribute to Elizabeth II after her death emphasized their personal bond.
Final meetings and legacy
Harry attended key events with Elizabeth II, including the 2022 Platinum Jubilee, where he introduced Lilibet to her namesake. During the queen’s funeral, Harry joined a vigil with other grandchildren but was initially barred from wearing a military uniform, a decision later reversed.
The queen’s affection for Harry persisted, evident in her participation in a 2016 Invictus Games video with the Obamas. Harry’s memoir “Spare,” selling 1.4 million copies on its first day, underscored her dedication to duty while highlighting his struggles within the monarchy.
Royal family dynamics
The biography sheds light on the complex dynamics between Harry, Meghan, and the royal family. Elizabeth II’s efforts to maintain unity clashed with Harry’s push for independence, a tension that persisted after 2018.
The wedding, a global spectacle, masked underlying issues that resurfaced in later years. Harry’s decision to step back reflected his desire to protect his family, while the queen prioritized the institution’s stability.
Public interest in royal biographies
Sally Bedell Smith’s work adds to a growing body of royal literature, with “Spare” setting a benchmark for sales in 2023. The public’s fascination with the monarchy, fueled by Netflix’s “The Crown” and Harry’s own disclosures, drives demand for such accounts.
The revelations about the 2018 meeting offer fresh insight into Elizabeth II’s final years, a period marked by family challenges and her enduring commitment to her role.