Homosexuality and faith: young man from Uberlândia shares journey of acceptance and search for understanding

Gabriel Guedes, 21 years old, resident of Uberlândia, in the Triângulo Mineiro, experienced for years a profound dilemma between his evangelical faith and the discovery of his sexuality. Raised in a religious home, he realized as a child his attraction to other boys, generating a silent clash between the beliefs he learned from an early age and his own identity.

His divine supplications were filled with anxiety, dread and tears, as he recalls. The young man often asked why he faced such difficulty and pain in his life, questioning why he went through that.

Gabriel reports that the awareness of his attraction to people of the same sex emerged between the ages of eight and ten. Due to family influence and the ecclesiastical environment he frequented, he spent a long time hiding these feelings, convinced that he needed to transform himself to be accepted. Psychoanalyst Allan Jovelino clarifies that the mental anguish experienced does not originate from faith or religiosity itself. It is a direct result of “the experiences of rejection, guilt and discrimination felt by individuals in certain religious contexts.”

At fourteen, Gabriel decided to reveal his sexual orientation to his family. This attitude was not an act of defiance, but rather an aspiration to experience his feelings with the same freedom that he observed in his heterosexual friends.

“I wanted to feel authentically and spontaneously, I wanted to be somewhat ‘common'”, expressed the young man.

The first person he confided in was his grandmother. Within the family circle, reactions varied considerably. However, Gabriel keeps an affectionate memory of his grandfather, who chose to take him in.

“My grandfather allowed his affection to overcome any prejudice or fear he may have had about my sexuality. We shared unforgettable moments in his last days, thanks to that choice”, he narrated.

This support materialized in a practical way, when Gabriel’s grandfather opened the doors of the house for his then-boyfriend to participate in family life, a gesture that had a profound impact on his grandson’s life.

Although certain family members handled the situation more calmly, others never fully assimilated his guidance. Gabriel remembers being confined to his room during a heated argument with his father, after the revelation.

“He censored me intensely, demanding that I be a ‘real man’ to live with them. He criticized my mannerisms, my way of expressing myself, dressing and even loving”, declared Gabriel.

From that episode on, the relationship between the two remained distant.

For the young man, the most painful part of his journey was not just the rejection, but the intense feeling of abandonment by his family.

“I had to learn to face everything alone, without the need for them. This created a huge family gap in my life”, he explained.

The journey of reconciliation with spirituality

The experiences of adolescence also changed Gabriel’s perception of his own spirituality. There was a period when he believed it was impossible to reconcile his Christian faith with his sexual identity.

“I felt distinguished. Religiously, I considered myself unworthy of communicating with God and walking His paths”, he recalled.

He even distanced himself from the ecclesiastical community and, for a while, imagined there would be no return. Despite this, his belief in God never wavered.

As the years passed, something began to change. His prayers stopped being pleas for his sexuality to dissolve and became a search for understanding and clarity.

“I stopped begging God to transform me and started praying for understanding,” he revealed.

The change, according to Gabriel, began at that point and solidified during a spiritual retreat promoted by a church. At that time, he finally understood that it was not necessary to choose between his faith and his identity.

“Everything became very clear after my personal encounter with divinity,” he said.

This experience reinforced the certainty that his sexual orientation did not represent an impediment to his spiritual connection.

How Gabriel defines his personal connection with God

Currently, Gabriel describes his relationship with God as something intrinsic and disconnected from other people’s approval. “I do not seek the consent of other people for my connection with Him”, he summarized.

For him, being a gay and Christian man implies understanding that faith transcends sexual orientation. “Being a Christian involves much more than my intimate actions with my partner. I should not deviate from divine precepts because of my sexuality”, he highlighted.

Over the years, the young man also found support in Christian friends, who were fundamental in rebuilding his relationship with the church and spirituality.

Faced with the statement that a gay person cannot be Christian, he prefers to respond with civility, but without renouncing his own convictions.

“I demonstrate how restricted this point of view is, but I respect the opinion. In any case, my connection with God is a private matter between the two of us”, he pointed out.

Today, Gabriel argues that LGBT people deserve to live their faith with dignity, a sense of belonging and respect.

When revisiting his past, he reflects on the ten-year-old boy who, in tears, asked in prayer not to be homosexual. If I could meet him again, his message would be direct and consoling.

“I would tell him that there is no reason to worry. God will not abandon him for his identity. He will love him, protect him and guide him in every aspect,” he declared.

Psychoanalyst addresses the reconciliation between faith and sexual identity

Psychoanalyst Allan Jovelino highlights that discrimination against LGBT+ people persists recurrently in different social strata, including certain religious contexts.

“In certain more traditional religious denominations, it is still common to find statements from leaders who categorize homosexuality as a sin. Many see it as an option or illness that needs a cure, which encourages and strengthens prejudice”, explains the professional.

Such rhetoric, according to the expert, can have significant consequences for the mental health of individuals.

“It is common to come across individuals who have been victims of explicit homophobia or who grew up hearing that homosexual people would be condemned. Experiences like these in childhood and adolescence make self-acceptance difficult and are linked to higher rates of depression, anxiety and suicidal behavior in this group”, he explains.

With expertise in supporting LGBT+ people, Allan mentions having dealt with numerous cases in which religiosity was experienced with intense guilt and suffering.

“In my practice as a psychologist, I saw several people who felt guilty and used to pray for God to transform them, eradicating their desire for someone of the same sex. Growing up in environments hostile to the LGBT population can negatively impact their relationships, self-esteem and even their professional trajectories”, notes Allan.

Despite this challenging panorama, the psychoanalyst has noticed positive transformations in recent years. The criminalization of homophobia, the growing increase in representation and greater openness to the experience of sexuality have contributed to the reduction of discrimination in various spaces, including religious ones.

According to him, a growing number of LGBT people have found ways to harmonize their spirituality with their identity.

“We observe individuals who have moved away from religion due to experiences of deep suffering. However, I also notice a growing movement of people who are able to practice their faith in different ways, both in temples and religious groups and outside of them”, he analyzes.

The expert highlights that many have sought out inclusive congregations or other religious environments where they can experience their spirituality without giving up who they are.

“Many LGBT+ individuals are discovering welcoming churches or migrating to religions where they feel more accepted. Others cultivate their spirituality outside of temples and come to understand that the discriminatory messages of certain leaders do not necessarily define the relationship they establish with divinity”, he states.

For Allan Jovelino, it is crucial to make a clear distinction between religiosity and discrimination.

“Psychological anguish does not emanate from spirituality or religion itself, but rather from the experiences of repulsion, guilt and prejudice faced by some people in specific religious environments”, reiterates the psychoanalyst.

He adds that, although progressively, the number of religious communities that welcome the LGBT population has increased. “Every day, it becomes more common to find ecumenical groups dedicated to the LGBT community, as well as priests, pastors and other religious leaders who actively combat discrimination. Thus, the practice of faith becomes disconnected from the idea of ​​punishment and suffering, starting to represent belonging, caring for mental health and offering a sense of purpose”, he concludes.